I have been so excited about this link up since I heard about it last week and I had every intention of making the perfect post and scheduling it in advance and being one of the 1st with my name on the list...... But I have been so extremely busy that it kept getting put on the back burner so now here it is 11:07PM and I am taking a break from homework to get this post on here!
I bounced ideas back and forth of what I wanted this post to be about, I have so many titles now a days and am living outside of my norm.
What titles you might ask.....
Single Mom to a 4 year Old, Fur-mom to my English Bulldog (Who BTW is snoring incredibly loud at this very moment), Recent Divorcee, Ex-Army Wife, Full Time Bookkeeper, Full Time Online Student, 27 year old living her parents basement, etc.
And since this is such a special link up, Im gonna share my past.
My most recent divorce is not my 1st. Although I kinda count it as that because the 1st one could have been an annulment had I not been pregnant with Miss Miley.
But then again, if I had not been pregnant I am not sure I would have been strong enough to leave.
You see, my first husband was very controlling, abusive, and a drug dealer to top it off.
I met him in July of 2007 on Myspace
(Ya I know I am embarrassed for myself)
After meeting in person we started hanging out everyday and he convinced me that he was perfect. He always said the right things and made me feel so special, like I was the only person in the world.
After my best friend expressed her disdain of him, he was quick to do everything in his power to convince me that she was just trying to get me to break up with him because she liked him and that she was just jealous that we were so perfect together.
I believed him.
How could someone I loved so much lie to me, right?
We started hanging with his friends more often and actually ended up moving in with them until we got married in October.
Ya....3 months after meeting
(I know I am an Idiot)
They actually ended up being great friends of mine and took my side in the divorce and stopped talking to him.
We got married in October in Las Vegas because we wanted to get married before I left for Bootcamp for the Navy in December.
After getting married and coming back home and trying to settle into newlywed life I realized I was supposed to get Aunt Flow while we were in Vegas and she never came, it was around this time also that I noticed that my boobs were hurting like a mofo.
So, my friends (who BTW had just like 3 weeks prior found out they were having a baby. Which later they found out they were having twins that are a month older then Miley)
convinced me to buy a pregnancy test and so I did. I told them they were crazy there was no way I could be pregnant, my ex told me he was sterile and could not have children.
Welp, not the case.
After peeing on 2 sticks it was confirmed I was indeed knocked up.
Commence total panic attack and good bye bootcamp and being a Navy Air traffic controller.
It was at this point that he became a totally different person.
He was ecstatic I was pregnant but became so controlling I could not even go to my parents house without him. I was incredibly sick a majority of my pregnancy and the first few months were the worst.
Any smell would make me nauseous, moving too much nauseous, etc.
So I slept a lot and needless to say the mattress mambo was out of the picture.
So he took that as I was cheating on him and started checking my phone constantly and would take my car at night after I fell asleep and run it out of gas so I could not make it to work.
When we would fight about these things it would get so bad I would try to leave to go to my parents house and he would rip the keys and cell phone out of my hand so hard it would make me bleed.
One time after he did that I tried to take them back and he ran out the door and slammed the door on me on my pregnant stomach. I cried thinking he hurt my baby. An ultrasound a few weeks later showed though that she was ok! Thank God!
The day I finally left him, I had planned for a few days and was planning on waiting till he left for work then was going to grab my stuff (I did not have much at the time) and get in my car and head to my parents house. The morning arrived and as he was leaving I noticed he had left his keys on the table so I told him he should take them, he then got pissed and said no you will be here when I get home and so I lied and said my mom was taking me christmas shopping so he needed his keys. He through a total hissy fit and said I better be home and I am not going to my parents house. So I told him I was leaving him.
He freaked out. Started crying and yelling and went to grab my keys and phone per his norm and so I bolted into the bathroom of our little studio apartment and locked the door. He then proceeded to punch holes in the door until he was able to get in. As he did I ran out the door and into the park next door to our apartment complex. He tackled me and got my phone. At that point I was able to run and get into my jeep and start it and as I put it in Drive he got right in front of my car and told me if I was going to leave I had to run him over because he was not going to move.
I revved my engine
He did not move but then proceeded to lean over to my tire an attempt to let the air out.
I opened my door to stop him and he jumped in and was trying to get the keys out of the ignition. He succeeded and got out so I begged him to give them to me.
So he called my mom.
Thank God. He thought my mom would be on his side so he called her to convince me to stop acting so ridiculous and to go back into the apartment with my husband.
My mom told him to give me my keys and my cell phone and to let me go home and she would talk some sense into me.
He believed her!
So he handed me my stuff apologized and moped off back into the apartment as I hauled ass away, hysterically crying and wanting to throw up.
I got a temporary restraining order against him that was thrown out at trial because he lied and said I was the one being violent and then promised the judge he would go to anger management classes.
I found my divorce lawyer that day. He did the whole thing pro-bono. I just had to pay all the court costs.
My ex ended up in jail on drug and weapons charges and did not go to any on the court dates. The divorce took a year and a half!
I got full custody of my daughter, he did not even get visitations
(He has never met her and never will if I have anything to say about it)
He is honestly not even on her birth certificate, I refused to put a fathers name on there because just because he was the "sperm donor" as I often refer to him as, does not make him her father.
So I just want to say that if anyone is reading this and is in an abusive relationship, do not be afraid to get help. There will be so many people who will help you get into a safer situation, please do not stay.
If you need help and don't want to reach out to someone in your life email me and I will do what I can to help you.